-- Monty Python Revisited --

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M: The Ivory-billed Woodpecker is extinct; it's a goner; it's pushin' up daisies as we speak, I tell ya...

J: But... but 100s of people say they've seen one. How can you be so blimey sure Ivory-bills are no more?

M: Those people are mistaken, each and every one of 'em, mistaken I tell you; they seen somethin' else --- you CAN'T see what don't exist, so them that say they seen it, MUST be mistaken, don't ya get it... simple logic.

J: So, the bird is extinct, becuz no one's seen it, and those that say they have is all mistaken, 'cuz they MUST be, 'cuz it doesn't exist; is that it?

M: Now you're gettin' it, matey; pure reasoning don't ya see...

J: But I'm just not clear, how can one be so sure Ivory-bills have forever passed?

M: Look bloke, 60 years ago their home, their habitat, their domicile, was destroyed, ravaged, turned to rubble; they got nowhere to live, nowhere to hang their hat, so they exited this world; there simply couldn't be any of 'em left around today. Use your noggin' for gosh sakes. No home, no bird.

J: But LOTS of critters, including LOTS of woodpeckers, lived in that habitat, and they're still around now. The Pileateds are here; why must there be no more Ivory-bills?

M: Don't ya know nuthin'... the Pileated was adaptable; the Ivory-bill was a 'specialist;' he couldn't change with the times by jove, so now he's deceased, he's expired, lacking a pulse, he resides in your dreams ONLY. You're stretchin' my patience here, boy.

J: Ahhh, the Ivory-bill was a specialist, and the Pileated was not, hmmmm?

M: Yes chap, see it's not rocket-science; look around, Pileateds are all over, but Ivory-bills are nowhere to be found, 'cept spinning in their grave... that proves it... they were too specialized for their own good.

J: Ahhh!, so we know the Ivory-bill was a specialist and the Pileated wasn't because the former is gone and the latter is still around, which must mean that the Ivory-bill was a specialist and the Pileated wasn't because....

M: Yes, yes, now you're gettin' it; you're comin' around finally; the logic is sinkin' in. The Ivory-bill he's not hidin', he's not sleeping out-of-sight, he's without existence don't ya see, gone to that great big cypress swamp in the sky, DEAD as a doornail. Bye bye birdie.

J: So I guess anyone who says he's seen an Ivory-bill is just plain wrong, huh?

M: You got it... he has to be wrong, 'cuz, hey, THAT'S science for ya!!

J: Well, thanks for clearing that all up... now, about this dead parrot you sold me. . . . .

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