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Have to maintain a sense of humor through all this, so just a blast-from-the-past laugh today; (and I’ll always give the stodgy Brits credit for their sense of humor!)… posted this originally 17 years ago after it ran over on BirdForum (…strictly for fans of Monty Python and their famous Parrot sketch; sorry, I don’t know the originator):
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Fitzcrow: ....I wish to complain about this woodpecker what I discovered not less than 2 years ago from this very big woods.
Skeptics: Oh yes, the, uh, the Pileated...What's,uh...What's wrong with it?
Fitzcrow: I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. 'E's not the Pileated he's the IBWO and no one, seems to believe me.
Skeptics: No, no, 'e's uh,...he's a Pileated.
Fitzcrow: Look, matey, I know an IBWO when I see one, and I'm looking at 6 pixels of one right now.
Skeptic: No no he's not an IBWO, he's, he's a PIWO'! Remarkable bird, the PIWO, idn'it, ay? Beautiful bill!
Fitzcrow: The bill don't enter into it. It's all about the white trailing edge.
Skeptics: Nononono, no, no! 'E's an PIWO, you're looking at the underside of the wing!
Fitzcrow: All right then, if we're looking at the underside, then what about the white stripes on the back
(cut to Fitzcrow deinterlacing the video).
Skeptic: You just put those on during processing.
Fitzcrow: No I didn't.
Skeptics: Yes, you did!
Fitzcrow: I never, never did anything...
Skeptics: (yelling and examining the footage repeatedly) 'ELLO PIWO!!!!!
Now that's what I call a extinct species.
Fitzcrow: No, no.....No, 'e's hiding!
Skeptics: Hiding?!?
Fitzcrow: Yeah! Hiding, IBWOs hate man. They take on the appearance of a PIWO when ever a human looks at them for more than 3 seconds.
Skeptics: That's insane
Fitzcrow: Well, he's... he's, ah... probably pining for the swamps.
Skeptic: PININ' for the SWAMPS?!?!?!? What kind of talk is that?, look, why can't anyone photograph this bird, why can't we get video?
Fitzcrow: The IBWO's a magical bird. You must be in full ghillie suit and mask your scent to get but a glimpse. Remarkable bird, id'nit, squire? Lovely plumage!
Skeptic: Look, I took the liberty of examining the footage when I got it home, and I discovered the only reason that you think it's a IBWO is that you can't tell dorsal from ventral
(pause)
Fitzcrow: Well, if we admitted it was ambiguous we wouldn't have been given all these shiny new coins.
There are in fact many IBWOs from AR to LA.
Skeptic: "AR to LA"?!? Mate, this bird EXTINCT.
Fitzcrow: No no! 'E's pining!
Skeptic: 'E's not pinin'! 'E's passed on! This IBWO is no more! He has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker!
'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e rests in peace! If you hadn't deinterlaced the video 'e'd be pushing up the daisies!
'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig!
'E's kicked the bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!!
THIS IS AN EX-SPECIES!
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....meanwhile, we'll wait to see who gets the last laugh
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