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Maybe I’ll spend the summer just doing re-runs of past posts?…. in this case an expanded re-make of material from over 15 years ago, a glossary of some definitions useful in the Ivory-bill arena:
"Groupthink" --- A blind thought process that 'Party A' accuses 'Party B' of engaging in, all the while that 'Party A' is wholly immersed in it.
"Luneau video" --- Modern-day ornithological Rorschach test (or 4 seconds of cryptic, enigmatic, pixelated mystery) that splits all birders into 2 diametrically-opposed groups.
"kent... kent" --- the sound that Blue Jays repeatedly make... when imitating certain big woodpeckers of the deep forest.
"Cornell Lab of Ornithology" --- the renowned professional bastion of knowledge and expertise in North American ornithology... or... NOT.
"extinct" --- the state-of-being of any lifeform that refuses to subject itself to current photographic representation.
"field biology" --- the "science" in which limited observations of small, generally non-random samples are routinely extrapolated to draw loose/false inferences and generalizations about entire populations.
"field marks" --- Specific physical characteristics/markings used to differentiate Ivory-bills from all other birds... except for briefly-glanced, over-sized, bi-laterally leucistic Pileateds.
Bigfoot --- creature whose very non-existence proves the extinction of the Ivory-billed Woodpecker.
"the non-commutative law of mistaken identifications" (or, the one-way direction of mistaken identifications) --- out of dozens of brief "Ivory-bill" sightings ALL can be assumed to actually be Pileated Woodpeckers, but out of 1000's of brief sightings of Pileateds none could ever be an Ivory-bill.
"extraordinary" --- a description typifying any supposition that you don't personally believe in, but definitely not applying to any supposition you do believe in.
"certainty" --- in science, the product of linking feel-good conjectures with circular arguments, while ignoring underlying assumptions; otherwise, a term applying only to death and taxes.
Occam's Razor --- the philosophical notion that when faced with multiple explanations for a phenomena one may as well believe whichever explanation one most prefers, and figure out how to justify it afterward.
"The Ivory-billed Woodpecker -- Rediscovered" --- Internet Facebook site for proudly showing off your crystal-clear Pileated Woodpecker photos.
"rare" or "endangered species" --- lifeforms that the USFWS is charged with protecting…. (also, honest or ethical Republicans).
"camera" -- a modern day routine convenience carried by almost all birders but invariably rendered useless when in the presence of the force-field of certain Lord Godly creatures.
Louisiana, Arkansas, Florida --- 3 states that have no claims whatsoever for the Loch Ness Monster, but where Invisible Big Woodpeckers (IBWs) are thought to thrive.
50,000 --- the number of reward dollars forfeited when no one could lead wildlife officials to a single living Ivory-billed Woodpecker.... (also, coincidentally, the number of photos and YouTube videos submitted purporting to show IBWOs, that were in fact clearly Pileateds).
"The Lord God Bird" --- best song Sufjan Stevens ever wrote/sang.
"A"-hole --- The designation that Cornell gave specifically to those large tree cavities which, by several criteria, were deemed most likely to be associated with work of an Ivory-billed Woodpecker…. or, a loose, non-technical term occasionally used by certain participants in the IBWO debate to reference other participants in same debate.
"Birds Aren't Real" movement --- a fringe, breakaway group from the "Ivory-bills Don't Exist" movement.
"dorsal white trailing edge" --- a diagnostic feature of the Red-headed Woodpecker; ambiguous when applied to any other species.
“Knock, Knock!” — the rare, distinctive sound of the Ivory-billed Woodpecker communicating to its brethren in the field…. or, the frequent start of your 7-year-old telling a joke.
Saluda County, S.C. — perhaps (…or perhaps not) the last-known decades-long stealth refuge of both Bachman’s Warblers and Ivory-billed Woodpeckers.
“Ivory-bills Live???!” — THE blog written and read by bonkers birders worldwide.
philosophical conundrum --- If an Ivory-billed Woodpecker flies through a forest but no one is there to see and clearly photograph it, then does it exist?
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